With the Grain
Spoken Softly
Mean Temperatures
Feel like singing? Here's a little ditty to warm up with. It captures all the marvelous fantasy of America's love affair with oil. The melody's up to you! For a petroleum motif, try the Beverly Hillbillies' theme. Feeling patriotic? Battle Hymn of the Republic works nicely (with one extra syllable per note in the last line).


There's no global warming trending by the thermostat I read.
Motors, wires, and pipes keep sending all the cooling that I need.
I raise an icy cup of styrofoam in air-conditioned breeze:
"Please reduce the use (outside my home) of all those CFC's!"

True, it's different in December,
and July's a little hot,
but I ask you to remember
all the science you forgot.
If the rivers flood in May,
and then in August there's a drought,
impartial scientists would say
that all the figures average out.

Some think ozone's disappearing 'cause of things that we've abused,
but the news that I've been hearing seems a little bit confused.
We get ozone from our cars, like in New York and in L.A.
We can thank our lucky stars that cars will really save the day.

We can't think of any reason
to relinquish all our perks;
we have clothes for every season,
and the air-conditioning works.
We aren't sensitive to cold,
and we aren't sensitive to hot.
As for sensitive, I've told you
I can guarantee we're not.

What with wells for oil and gas, and all the forest trees and shrubs,
we have lot of fuels to cool our schools, and homes, and cars, and pubs.
Whether burned in power plants or where they naturally occurred,
clouds of smoke provide the answer: global cooling is assured.

Yes we multiplied, God bless us, and we did subdue the Earth.
There's no limit to this mess or (God forbid) the rate of birth.
As the warming is debated, I believe it's just as well:
we'll at least be acclimated
to eternity
in a nice,
toasty
spot.

© 1992 WTG All Rights Reserved.
With the Grain - - Box 517 - - Mattawan, Michigan - - 49017-0517 - - wtg@wtgrain.org

...head home now!
Reason to Plan Preservation Spoken Softly Waiting to Die